AITAH for telling my boyfriend I’ll break up with him if he doesn’t start wiping his butt?

Hey again. I wanted to give an update because, well, it happened. I broke up with him. And it was somehow even messier than I expected, no pun intended.

I sat him down and told him I couldn’t do this anymore. I explained everything calmly: that it wasn’t just about wiping, but about respect, for me, for himself, and for any space we shared. That I was exhausted from living in constant secondhand filth. That I genuinely couldn’t picture a future with someone who refused to do the most basic thing to stay clean.

He stared at me in silence for a few seconds, then laughed. Like, this weird fake laugh. Then he got super defensive and said, “Wow, so I guess you never actually cared about me. This is what ends us? Over wiping?”

I told him it wasn’t just that, it was the fact that I asked him, repeatedly, to do something extremely reasonable, and he chose not to. Over and over. He folded his arms and said, “I’m not changing who I am just to make you comfortable.”

I said, “I’m not asking you to change your personality. I’m asking you to not smell like shit.”

That’s when it got dramatic.

He stood up, threw his keys on the couch, and said, “You’re just like everyone else. Judgmental and shallow.” Then he packed a duffel bag like he was storming out of a movie, grabbing random stuff like a pair of mismatched socks, two deodorants (the irony), and a frozen burrito from the freezer.

Before he left, he looked at me and said, “You’ll regret this. You’ll never find another guy like me.”

And I just said, “That’s kind of the point.”

He slammed the door so hard a picture fell off the wall. He’s texted me a few times since, mostly passive-aggressive stuff like “Hope your next guy wipes and lies to you about it” and “Real men don’t fold for toilet paper.” I haven’t responded.

Since he left, I’ve deep cleaned the apartment, burned a candle, and done five loads of laundry. I cannot tell you how amazing it feels to sit on a couch and not wonder if it’s been in contact with poop.

Anyway. Thank you all for the push I needed. You were right. I don’t need to fix someone who thinks basic hygiene is optional. I need someone who’s already a damn adult.